Saturday, November 11, 2006

Returns of the day...

So here's another one of those nights that has crept up to me, telling me that I am one step closer... The Sun is the same, (as Floyd said) in a relative way, but I ain't the same....

What should such a day be like? A day to introspect? retrospect? inspect? or just suspect?

What is more worth remembering on a night like this? The pocket full of marbles that I used to run with, or those games of summer, or those high-school Maths problems, or the races I ran, or the races I just watched?

How do you choose from amongst those memories? You can't favor one over the other. Even memories have egos. You can't ignore any one of them. What if one of them is hurt and refuses to come back forever? Can I handle that?

The whole process is a lot like looking in the rear-view mirror. Especially those ones which say "Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear". I guess the same holds true for each one of those images in our mind. Much closer than they appear. And catching up fast. Sometimes rushing past to get ahead of you, till you become another object in the mirror of your memories...

And as I sit here I am trying to count something. Though I don't know what. I just found that it's so very difficult to measure a life only in terms of years... in terms of greeting cards, in terms of bouquets, in terms of phone calls... Perhaps it's also in terms of the times your hands didn't hurt someone, the lies you never told and the tears which don't have your name written on them... Basically things that we generally don't care a damn about. Meaningless episodes in our otherwise meaningful lives.

But is that bringing me back to the most basic question, the one people spend their entire lives without getting a hold on?

Many happy returns.
Of what?

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