Thursday, April 06, 2006

Alcohol (Part IV) -- The sad love stories

The last (and as is customary to add), but not the least, is the “drunken my-love-story-is-sadder-than-yours” session. To err, as they say, is human. And every man worth his alcohol has, at some point in his checkered life, made the mistake of either actually falling in love, or believing that he was in love.

Now the species of males (displaying a striking similarity to pigs – refer this post) have a rather limited vocabulary and can always be found short of the right words (thereby being reduced to uttering “oink, oink!” at the opportune moment). But under the influence of ethanol, even the most reticent of men find themselves gifted with a cornucopia of words.

And this is how these sessions proceed. A typical conversation goes thus:
“Bahut lambi kahaani hai dost, kya karoge sun kar”. Translated, it reads, “It’s a long story my friend, what will you gain upon hearing it?”
The reply comes as follows:
“Abhi to raat jawaan hai huzoor, har jaam ke saath apni kahaani sunaate jaaiye”. Translated again, it means “The night is young, sir. With every drink, pour away your story as well”

What follows is a half-hour monologue, starting right from where he met that unfortunate girl to the time they had their first “pav-bhaaji” on the streets, and then moving on to irrelevant trivia such as “her mom thinks I am a total scumbag”, or “I have spent ten thousand rupees on her till date”

I have of course, consoled many such lovers, and in the process have realized the healing touch that this liquid provides. It is not without reason, therefore, that it is offered to the Gods in prayers. It’s worth it. Absolutely. It can do wonders and can even lead to miracles (waking up next morning, still alive, seems like a miracle to me everytime!!)

1 comment:

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