Mumbai Local Trains are the lifeline of Mumbai. They are also great teachers. Some go so far as to claim that traveling in Mumbai locals builds character. One would therefore expect Mumbai to be as characterful as possible. Maybe that's what the Mumbai local spirit is all about. Maybe...
Anyways, today we shall cover some practical lessons learnt while undergoing varied experiences in the locals. Let's call these lessons, for the purpose of academization, "MLTs". We intend to take up five lessons from Mumbai Locals - named quite appropriately as MLT-101, MLT-102, MLT-103, MLT-104 and last, and the toughest, MLT-105. The courses are self-explanatory in nature, as will soon become evident. All these lessons will include the time of day, the specification of the train and the class of journey to be undertaken in order to successfully complete the course, apart from other trivial details.
Without further ado, we begin with MLT-101.
Time of Day: 9:30 PM, Sunday
Train Specification: Churchgate, Slow.
Boarding Station: SantaCruz
Alighting Station: Churchgate
Your class of journey: First
Handicap: None
Qualification criteria: Find the right platform, get in and out of the train at the designated destinations.
Notes/Comments: If you fail at this, you need to look again in the mirror, and then break the mirror.
A preliminary course, this is where one should ideally begin their training, though (as is the nature of human beings), we are all born experts and so we attempt far more amazing things much sooner in our life, with a few of us actually remaining alive to tell the world about it.
MLT-102
Time of Day: 6:30 PM, Monday
Train Specification: Churchgate, Slow.
Boarding Station:SantaCruz
Alighting Station: Churchgate
Your class of journey: First
Handicap: A bag (containing a laptop), an umbrella, and a swiss watch on your hand
Qualification criteria: Get in and out of the train with no damage to the laptop, the umbrella, to the watch and to self. Also, while boarding and alighting, there should be NO physical contact with any humanbeing/organism on the station.
Notes/Comments: You should be able to qualify easily after one attempt
MLT-103
Time of Day: 6:30 PM, Monday
Train Specification: Andheri, Fast
Boarding station:Mumbai Central
Alighting Station: Dadar
Your class of journey: First
Handicap: A bag (containing a laptop), an umbrella, and a swiss watch on your hand
Qualification criteria: Get in and out of the train with no damage to the laptop, the umbrella, to the watch and to self.
Notes/Comments: The author does not take any responsibility in case the swiss watch goes missing while attemtping the above operations.
MLT-104
Time of Day: 6:45 PM, Monday
Train Specification: Boriveli, Fast
Boarding station:Dadar
Alighting Station: Bandra
Your class of journey: Second
Handicap: A bag (containing a laptop), an umbrella, and a swiss watch on your hand
Qualification criteria: Get in and out of the train with no damage to self and laptop
Notes/Comments: If the umbrella and watch go missing, you will still be considered as qualified
MLT-105 (Only to be attempted after all the above 4 have been qualified. This experiment involves significant threat to life and limb)
Time of Day: 7:15 PM, Monday
Train Specification: Virar, Fast
Boarding station:Dadar
Alighting Station: Bandra
Your class of journey: Second
Handicap: Trust me, it won't make a difference
Qualification criteria: Get in and out of the train at the designated stations, with no major injuries to self
Notes/Comments: Since there is no way you can even think of attempting this at home, so I will do away with the customary warnings and wish you good luck. Also note that only for the purpose of this exercise, falling on your face while alighting does not count towards major injuries.
*Please note that whereever used, the expression "Get in the train" implies that no part of your system is outside the door (No, not even the shoe)
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