Just follow your heart...

"Easier said than done, obviously". That's the usual response to a statement like this. But then, come to think of it, given a choice, wouldn't this seemingly emotional, irrational choice be the most logical one?

I mean, if you find yourself at one of those zillion forks that life plants in your way, and those wavering, uncertain clouds have overshadowed your Pole Star, then how do you decide? I am not saying it's easy. It's not supposed to be easy perhaps. Deep down, it's not just the sound of those guiding, reassuring, benevolent heart beats. For it's only when you are confronted with these choices, that you can also hear those faint, quivering, fluttering noises that keep asking "Are you sure?"

Perhaps it's better to let the heart rule sometime.

Perhaps, hope is indeed a good thing.

Perhaps, when it's time to look back, you will thank your heart.

And perhaps, your heart will thank you even more...

 

And while we are at it, I can't help quoting that immortal line from one of the most amazing songs ever written -- "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on" (from the song "Stairway to heaven" by Led Zeppelin).

Again, it can be easily brushed away as the musings of a 60's rock lyricist, but seriously, I suppose having this notion is what following your heart is all about...

Destiny's children...

It has struck me as strange, this fascination that a lot of people in our country (and outside as well, actually) have with astrology, palmistry and the likes. Is it just a desire to peep into the future? To avoid the bad, to anticipate the good? And the even stranger contradiction in the fact that we ultimately believe that fate is the decision maker. If fate is the decision maker, then of what use is this future gazing?

The only logic that I can think of is that of easy blaming. Isn't it extremely convenient and effective to lay the responsibility of every screwed up thing in our life upon a few stars and planets a million miles away? Or on the convoluted ridges and shapes on your hand, regardless of what you do with those hands? I am not discounting the scientific rationale behind astrology here. It's just that I have never been really able to figure out this rationale.

It's sometimes hard to believe that if your relationships are not working out, then it's the "manglik" effect to blame (poor Mars, a few million people everyday hold it responsible for their marital woes). Or that it's "shani" or "rahu-ketu" playing the roulette with your professional life, or things like that. The reason why it is so hard to believe all this is also perhaps because we have these concepts of rahu-ketu etc. only in this part of the world. There are enough people outside India whose lives are not particularly going smoothly, but they are pretty much unaware of these concepts. Though these days they are making up for the lack of this Oriental wisdom by resorting to numerology and palmistry.

Maybe someday I will figure out. I just wish my stars could tell me when I would...

Just another love song...

 

Is there any shortage of love songs these days? Or should I say, has there ever been a shortage of them? Not really, right? Bollywood is famous for churning out songs for no reason or rhyme (pun intended). And so it probably wouldn't hurt to add one more to the infinite list that is already floating in our universe. Except that I can't classify this into any particular genre of romantic monologues.  It's certainly not useful for the purpose of serenade. Any attempt to sing this under a lady's window would probably be met with sharp objects thrown from the window in question. It's not a Romeo-Juliet departure song either. Shakespeare (he is one person who has definitely turned enough in his grave), will once again turn (how much turning room there is anyways in a grave, by the way?) if Romeo were to sing this.

But that's the catch. For Juliet had no choice. But Scarlett had too many choices. For those who are not too familiar with Gone with the Wind, her full name was Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler (No wonder she could never make up her mind about whom not to love).  

And Cinderella. She's my favorite. I have great respect for her. She rocks. 12 o' clock, and gone (more on Cinderella in a later post).

Anyways, so here it is, the "unclassifiable", just another love song...

 

Falling all over, head, toe and heels,

Just another heart, in trouble

How do you tell apart love, from a crush?

A big bubble, from a bigger bubble?

 

I know you will find, what I couldn't find,

I know you will touch, that coveted space

But where will it lead you, when it ends?

Smiling back in the mirror, your uncertain face?

 

Turn around; you may see someone you knew,

Feel your heart-beats again, as you leave to go,

But did you notice, that questioning look on his face?

Was it the first goodbye, or the last hello?

 

You fear the fear's coming back,

You are losing something you've got,

Did you ever heed when they told you,

Lovers may live forever, love does not?

 

You never thought it could happen to you,

You were so safe and sound,

Perhaps you were not so right after all?

Perhaps you forgot, that it all comes around?

 

It will happen again, you can't help yourself

More will arrive, and even more will go

How long will you hide the fact

The last time you fell in love, was not so long ago?

Free me...

For those who have heard Uriah Heep, the title of this post would bring some interesting memories perhaps. But this post is not about interesting memories. It’s about parts of a past worth forgetting.

For those who remember that we today completed 59 years of freedom, this day might be a day to rejoice. But this post is not about rejoicing. It’s about coming to terms with realities.

For those who have determined that we have successfully traversed a long distance, this day might be a day of heaving a sigh of relief. But this post is not about relief. It’s about an overwhelming anxiety that leaves one in a state of turmoil.

We have certainly come a long way, no doubt about that. India was shining. It still is. But what hurts is the dark spots on our shiny surface.
59 years and we still have the Babri Masjids and the Godhras to our credit. 59 years and we still have no justice for our Jessica Lals. 59 years and we are still destroying innocent lives with state level sex rackets involving high power ministers. 59 years and we are still trapped with Bofors and Telgis fooling with the tax payers’ money (of those few in a million who do care to pay taxes).

There is a something essential missing from our freedom. And it creates a strange nauseating feeling. The feeling you get when you are forced to eat a bowl full of curry, with no salt in it.
It didn’t have to be like this. Some people blame Nehru, others throw it all on the Mahatma. Some say Indira Gandhi made all the mistakes. But we, the people of India, were always right. Right?

So what does it take to be free? What does it entail? How long before we ultimately end up selling our country? Inch, by passing inch. Religion, by useless religion. Rupee, by wasted rupee. Independence Day, by live-telecasted Independence Day.
Or can we keep it safe? From ourselves?

Photon...

It was out of no reason that today I decided to just go through some of that stuff which I had written earlier, but had never posted anywhere. Like one of those days when you think about cleaning the closet, to make space for newer things, to throw the trash away, except that you end up spending a few hours playing and looking and associating memories with those items, only rearranging them and never having the heart to really dispose of anything.

And it was in out of this rummaging that I found this one. Written a few years ago, titled “Photon”. Yes, it’s about the thoughts of that tiniest unit that makes up all the light around us (my high school physics teacher would never have looked at it from this angle). I was wondering what it would feel like to be the smallest entity making its small contribution to illuminate the entire world. And this is what I had come up with --


Into the ocean, hidden from all,
And back again, to the lighthouse
I've seen that mighty ships have fallen,
To softer winds, silent and proud.

Planets were there, where they still are
Though shadows have changed, over the years.
I try to make out, as I move,
The salty waters, from the muddy tears

I slide across, into the dead bones,
Into temples, idols, and the stripper's frame
The heart of all, I find devoid,
Lost in search, of a fragile name

I am a witness, to the daily circus,
This dreamt-of world, and its worldly dreams,
Saints and sinners perform their art,
I wish I could tell them, what it means

And I light up the rain-washed roads,
To be splashed around, by footsteps unknown
Evanescence and eternity are so very same,
The sooner I die, sooner am I reborn

Open the box, and I'll escape,
Though infact, I was never inside,
And I'm afraid I won't find it,
Any more greener, on the other side...